“Well fair enough, like, I agree with abortion in terms of rape or incest. But, I’m sorry, ye don’t deserve one just for being a stupid fuckin bitch and getting yerself pregnant in de first place!” — A stupid fuckin bitch circa 2016, Dublin, Ireland (Nutgrove to be precise).
Those words are forever etched into my mind despite the passage of time. I dare say if I live until I’m 80 I’ll be telling the fellow residents in the nursing home about this “Total biiiiiiiitch back in my day!” Swiftly followed by “I hope she’s dead!” (Kidding! Kinda!).
Every circumstance is different
So, unless you’ve been enjoying a nice staycation under your rock, no doubt you’ve heard about Texas’ (Let’s call it what it is) new anti-abortion laws which outlaw any abortion, regardless of the circumstances, past six weeks! Now for a phenomenally large group of menstruating people, our cycles are anything but regular for many reasons. Too many to list, in fact! Personally, for my first pregnancy I only realised I was almost three weeks late because my cycle had become so irregular. That would immediately have put me beyond the option of any choice according to current Texas law. And as it was 2005 in Ireland there wasn’t any choices here either.
However, I was one of the lucky ones. My baby was planned. I was ready for him and I was in a stable relationship with a good job and an affordable home. So, naturally we were thrilled to discover why I was “late”. Sadly it was not meant to be as we lost him. But this is the key part: I don’t want you to feel sorry for me because that was my story, my experience, my status, and as such has no bearing on any other person’s life who suddenly discovers they’re pregnant and it’s far from ideal.
If we go back to that PoS (Hereinafter means Piece of Shit) who made that unsolicited (At no point did I ask her opinion on such a sensitive subject) distinction between the different ways in which babies are conceived, I have to ask myself, “What bloody difference does it make?”. I should point out this PoS was at the time six months pregnant with her second child, was married, had a home, and a good job. And it was for the latter she was “training” me to cover during her paid maternity leave. Nice and rosey for her, eh?
Learning from history
So why make the distinction? Surely if you’re “pro-life” all you care about is the unborn child (In someone else’s uterus!)? What difference does it make how they were conceived? Unless…. unless you’re making a judgement about other pregnant people? Which, once again, absolves the provider of sperm and places the blame squarely — and predictably — onto the shoulders of the birthing parent. And in a patriarchal world which is obsessed with gendered roles the rule seems to be: Man = stud, Woman = whore!
At that moment I froze and had to make a decision: Do I agree with her to defuse the situation so as to resume my “training” (PoS taught me nothing!) or do I “release the kraken”? Do I fly off into a rage-fueled monologue about how completely privileged she is and just because her husband shot his load that fateful night and now she’s deliriously happy about it don’t expect everyone to experience the same joy at pregnancy?
Instead, I deflected! My blood pressure was rising and I could nearly see the back of the squad car taking me away with me repeating “I just lost it. I’m sorry. I just lost it!”. Pretending she hadn’t spoken I mildly enquired “Sorry, how do I update this menu again?” This placated the PoS because the only thing she loved more than passing judgement on others was “Flexing her knowledge”. Again, she taught me nothing!
Thankfully on 25 May, 2018 our country came together to ensure no other person in need of abortion healthcare in Ireland would ever be denied it. It also hopefully meant that nobody else would lose their lives like Savita Halappanavar did in 2012. It’s still not perfect and we have to keep fighting so as to not lose ground. But one thing is certain: That PoS who vomited that vile diatribe onto me back in 2016 can kiss my hairy arse because we are never going to be receptacles, even if it’s what the far right want!
Oh, by the way, I jacked in the job after two months of her “training me”. It completely wasted her time and put her under pressure to find a replacement at such short notice! Isn’t it just awful when plans don’t work out, eh, luv??? Lol.
Therese Cahill is Ireland’s first female “limp-up” comic. You can find her observations and videos on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.
Featured image via Sebastian Dooris
